I think it’s easy to just throw in the towel. Give up. The hard thing to do is face your fear.
Being safe is the riskiest thing you can do.
Avoidance Junkie
If you had $25 reserved exclusively for fixing your agoraphobia/panic/anxiety, how would you spend it?
Would you make some grandiose plan of doing one big thing and hoping that does the trick? Or would you try to do as much as possible without spending a dime – then only using the money as needed (e.g. getting on the bus, train, etc)?
I tell you what I’d do. Nothing. It’d sit here and type a dumb fucking blog and just talk about what I’d do. Then never execute it.
Avoidance gives you short term reward (perceived safety) but is poison for any long term results. Don’t be like me. Don’t trip over dollars to get to pennies. Don’t avoid. You’ll be glad you didn’t. Because you won’t have to worry about something as trivial as $25. You’ll be living your life without agoraphobia. Imagine that.
Avoidance Junkie
Why do I write and agoraphobia blog? Well, for one, I’m a veteran of hundreds of full blown panic attacks. I’ve drastically (and negatively) altered my life in a brutal way because of my avoidance. I’ve seen some of the best CBT doctors in the country and have learned much of what is needed to know in order to fix it. I like writing this blog. It helps me recover.
But why do you want to read an agoraphobia blog? So I can go into excruciating detail about my experience? My life? My fears? So you can empathize with, identify with, or maybe even criticize me?
Don’t read an agoraphobia blog to listen to me. What you need is someone to listen to you. Someone that knows what you’re going through and wants to hear your story. A blog won’t be the place.
Email me if you want someone to just listen.
AvoidanceJunkie
I have the control to fix my panic and agoraphobia completely but I choose not to. Now, I’ve hit rock bottom. No job. Living with my parents. Divorced. Broke. Too scared to take any chances in life – too afraid to go for the things I want.
It’s all there for the taking – but I choose not to.
Only one thing to do from here I guess. I’m excited!
Found this on a Quora post today.
If you can overcome this fear, you can do anything in life
I like it. Think I’m gonna keep it.
Avoidance Junkie
The general consensus is that they last around 30 minutes. But in most cases they are short bursts of a minute or two then you calm down. The reason is that when we panic, we *irrationally* perceive immediate danger. If you are in the moment, you perceive danger, but never realize this danger, then the panic shuts down. Basically you’re gaining real time evidence that you’re not in danger and don’t have to run or fight.
All that said, panic can run in loops. You panic, become calm, but panic again, then become calm again, but panic again, etc etc. The bad news is that this is part of the disorder for a lot of us. As long as you believe that the panic itself is dangerous, then you’ll stay in that loop.
Our bodies can only create enough adrenaline at a time to be able to support fight or flight. We’re just not designed to be in this state for too long of a time. Typically we perceive danger – PANIC – then deal with the panic. During this time (a minute or so), we’re a high state of stress. But while we’re panicking, our liver is processing the adrenaline we produced and giving us some good stuff to counteract the bad chemical and put us in a nice calm state.
Think of our panic as the accelerator — and our perception as the brake. Your panic only lasts as long as your perception (which you control) let’s you panic. But rest assured, it can’t last forever, it has to stop, it has to because our bodies won’t let it last. Stay in the moment, it’s the fastest path to calm.
Avoidance Junkie
Did you know that many people actively seek panic attacks?
Sky divers. Jet fighter pilots. Drag racers. Bungee (sp?) jumpers.
They all do it. Why? Because they don’t have a fear of their panic. They don’t consistently monitor it. They don’t try to control it. It goes away because they make it go away by ignoring it.
Here’s how it works for them:
1. They perceive immediate danger.
2. Their sympathetic nervous system releases adrenaline so they can be more alert and survive.
3. The event ends, however short, and they no longer perceive immediate danger.
4. The parasympathetic nervous system releases a chemical to counteract the adrenaline (this feels really good btw and part of the reason people get addicted to this stuff).
5. They go on looking for the next adventure.
So why can’t we be like this? Instead, we look at the panic *itself* as danger because it feels so bad. But it’s not dangerous. That’s a fact. We’re just afraid of the feeling I guess. The extreme discomfort. If it was such a bad thing, then why do people do it on purpose, in fact, for fun?
You have control of your panic. Change the fear thought (the perception of immediate danger) and the panic goes away, right away.
Avoidance Junkie.
What have you lost because of your avoidance? Your panic? Your anxiety?
A lot huh.
Yea. Sometimes it seems like you’ll never be normal again.
It’s easier said than done, but all it takes is a little courage to face your fears. People do the things we’re afraid of every day. It’s safe. You’ll be safe. Our phobias are irrational fears. Irrational.
But is it worth holding on to? Not really. But we still do. I do at least.
Avoidance Junkie
Seth Godin is the best. I read his blog each day. He reinforces the word view that I want to adopt, but just haven’t formulated it yet. He’s the person I want to be. Anyway, the link above (click his name) is today’s offering. I’m going to rip the last paragraph because it says a lot. If you have panic or agoraphobia, this is our world.
When the lizard pushes you to recoil in fear, that’s your cue to embrace the trembling fear and do precisely the opposite of what it demands. This won’t work the first time or even the tenth, but it’s the path to an upcycle, one where each negative input leads to more productivity, not less.
Now, this may be a bit confusing without the context of his entire post, but it does say something in so many words that is very important.
The longer you wait to face your fears, the longer the cycle will continue. You’re emotional brain wins at the expense of your logical brain.
Too afraid to ride the train today? OK, well, it’ll be that much harder the next time
Dont’ want to go further than a block away from your house? Fine. It sure is comfortable in your safe place, but the next time you really want (or need) to go a block away, it’s going to be that much more difficult.
I’m not saying this from a theoretical place. I’m living it everyday. I avoid. “I’ll just do it tomorrow”. Tomorrow comes. “Maybe next week”. There’s always a next time.
Until there isn’t. Just fucking do it today. Now. The only way to beat your fears is to face them. It won’t be easy. This time. But next time, it’ll be a bit easier until one day – you’re normal again. How cool would that be?
Avoidance Junkie.
That title is a bit misleading.
I know how I got here. Initially I let anxiety get the best of me. Then I let panic get the best of me. Then I let agoraphobia get the best of me.
I still make excuses. “One day” I tell myself. It let’s me pound my chest. The facade. I trick myself. “Tomorrow I’ll start”, I’ll say like an overweight dreamer that really doesn’t want to go on that diet.
But I am the one. I’m the one that let it change my life so dramatically that the effort it’ll take to dig out of the hole so cavernous is reason to just. give. up. So I ask myself tonight, who do I want to be starting now. Fuck. I can’t change the past. I think it’s easy to feel sorry for yourself when things go bad. Time to make a plan and stick to it.
Join me?
Avoidance Junkie
