What do these three photos have in common? (Answer at the very end)
Great views? Yes.
All taken from my iPhone? Sure
Amateur photos? No question about it.
What do you *feel* when you see these photos? What comes to mind?
[i'll give you a second or two]
Sunrise
When I see the sunrise, I see the desolation of the road and I immediately think — what if. What if I need help RIGHT NOW? How long will I suffer if I panic and need something to take the panic away? How far is the nearest safe place? A place to get a beer. A gas station with other people. A small town. A hospital. A cop. ANYBODY?
I had the choice at that moment. 1. Stay with the anxiety and roll with it for what it was – just my false perception of danger OR 2. Do whatever I could to remove the feeling – to take away the (false) danger. I wonder what that ride would have been like if I chose the former.
But unfortunately I chose the latter and took a xanax. The panic went away. I reinforced my false perception of danger. I wasn’t *in* danger. But avoidance just seemed better than suffering.
Buildings
Great view, huh? But why am I on the 20th floor of a building that has three elevators, two of which only go to the 12th floor? Escape means sprinting down 20 flights of stairs as fast as possible. But I’m here and now I don’t want to be here anymore. I need to get down. I’m stuck. OK, I’ve been up here long enough. Time to go down. Panic.
It’s interesting how you validate your false fears when you give into your desire to run and avoid. I must have been up there for 15 minutes, but as soon as I said “no mas” and pressed the elevator button, I validated the fear by running away and panic set in.
Golden Gate Bridge
There’s traffic to my left and a 200 foot drop to my right. I’m at least 200 yards away from safety (being off the bridge). What am I afraid of right now? It’s safe, right? Nope. I’m stuck. I can turn and run and get to safety relatively quickly. I really have no other choice. I can sit here and panic or get off the bridge and relax. There is *no easy escape*.
Here’s the deal. If I would have casually sat there, I would have faced my fear and realized that I’m just fine. That there’s nothing to be afraid of – and stayed calm. Even if I turned to casually walk away, I would have been less anxious because by walking, I would have sent a signal to my brain that says “If I were really in danger, I’d be running right now. I’m not running, so I must not be in danger”.
But remember. I’m an avoidance junkie. So I ran. I validated the false fear. I panicked. I had a choice, and I chose to run from my fear. I fed my fear. I gave it more life, more credence.
So, what’s do the three photos have in common?
I was in a high state of anxiety and agoraphobia at that very moment and even with huge levels of epinephrine pumping through my veins, I was fine. I was in control. I was fine enough to snap a beautiful photo. I was fine enough to recognize that these moments needed to be captured. I was really fine. But I still ran. I haven’t been back since.
Avoidance Junkie
